Pitchforks for Pomposity

              Not everything I want to skewer with a pitchfork is in the political arena.  Facebook  is high on my list.  It is the ultimate “I Am Better Than You Are” club. 

              I am better than you are because I play three dimensional chess and listen to music so discordant that it sounds like doorknobs dropped down a mail chute.  I am better than you are because I do not eat animals and only those fruits and vegetables that have grown too weary to hold onto their stems.  I am better than you are because I drive only vehicles that use no fossil fuels.  (Never mind that it takes a coal plant to generate the electricity to charge the batteries.)  I drink only wine produced from grapes that grow in abandoned crop circles.  I donate money to help immigrant felons hone their skills in my community, and I vigorously protest when law officers try to protect the citizens.  I run five miles a day, inhaling copious fumes from vehicle traffic.  I call this a health benefit and sneer at those who do not follow my example.  All this makes me Better Than You.  Pitchforks, anyone?