Pitchforks for Pomposity
Not everything I want to skewer with a pitchfork is in the political arena. Facebook is high on my list. It is the ultimate “I Am Better Than You Are” club.
I am better than you are because I play three dimensional chess and listen to music so discordant that it sounds like doorknobs dropped down a mail chute. I am better than you are because I do not eat animals and only those fruits and vegetables that have grown too weary to hold onto their stems. I am better than you are because I drive only vehicles that use no fossil fuels. (Never mind that it takes a coal plant to generate the electricity to charge the batteries.) I drink only wine produced from grapes that grow in abandoned crop circles. I donate money to help immigrant felons hone their skills in my community, and I vigorously protest when law officers try to protect the citizens. I run five miles a day, inhaling copious fumes from vehicle traffic. I call this a health benefit and sneer at those who do not follow my example. All this makes me Better Than You. Pitchforks, anyone?